You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
