I hate all girls vehemently.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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