First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
