Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
