He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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