I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
