ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
