oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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