i permit you to call me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
