i wish my penis had a tongue
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
