i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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