I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
