It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize