On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
