I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
