AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
