ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize