Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
