He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
