A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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