Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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