Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
