no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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