Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
