vagina is talking i cant
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
