Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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