i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
