you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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