you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
