you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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