How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
