Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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