I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
