I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
