I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
