I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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