Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
