At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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