oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
