Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
