Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
