After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
