man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
