Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
