bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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