Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
