that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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