so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize