Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
