ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
