bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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