Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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