We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
