Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
