absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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