Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
