yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
