GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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