Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize