Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
