I think I won the penis lottery.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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