I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
