Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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