The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
