the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
