Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
