I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize