he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
